Broken Hearted
by Miah-Arthur
Summary: A twitch of Lucifer's limbs is Amenadiel's only indication that anything has happened, but the machine shows a steady rhythm of lines now. He grins. Lucifer will be back on his feet in a moment or two and they can go deal with Mum together. Except. The medical dance in front of him doesn't stop.


**Notes: **Thank you to my betas Maimat, RootPatterson, and LaughingLynx

Whumptober 2019 #3 Delirium

End Notes: Based partially on the prompt from Penelope97 of Unsteady by X Ambassadors, the song playing during the scene of Lucifer relieving Amenadiel of his sentry duty, and partially on

a prompt from Lucifer Prompts on tumblr.

* * *

**Broken Hearted**

* * *

Lucifer writes the formula on the paper Maze shoves at him and then makes a run for Amenadiel. Something doesn't feel quite right, but he _must_ reach the detective's room and release his brother from his duty. His chest aches and his heart races as he climbs the stairs. The shape of the paddles is seared into his skin, but it is only an annoyance. He can see Amenadiel now, struggling with guards.

He staggers as he runs, kept upright by his forward momentum. Catching himself on Amenadiel's arm, he grins at his brother to tell him they succeeded. The guards approach cautiously this time, and Amenadiel holds a hand up. Lucifer clings onto his other arm; he hasn't caught his breath yet. He's hauled forward by his grip, so lets his feet go along with it.

Amenadiel widens his stance and slams one hand, then the other against the door frame. He will _not_ fail his brother in this task. He hears running. Unbalanced. Staggering. The hand that lands on his arm is one he would recognize anywhere. Lucifer grips his arm like a lifeline and doesn't shy from the hand Amenadiel places on his shoulder. His shirt is undone, he's out of breath, and covered with a sheen of sweat, but the smile he beams says success. He sways, and Amenadiel shifts to hold him upright.

The guards approach more cautiously this time, and Amenadiel pulls Lucifer away from the doorway. He hasn't spoken, and he is panting for breath. "Lucifer?"

A distracted sounding "Hmm." is the only answer he receives.

"Keep moving. You're being ejected from the premises," a guard says behind them.

Amenadiel ignores them to lower Lucifer into a chair. He goes willingly, slumping forward, elbows on his knees, head hanging low. Amenadiel looks at Lucifer more closely. He flips the open shirt aside and sees overlapping burns, some beginning to blister. Lucifer's breathing has sped up, and his skin is cool to the touch.

"You need to get your friend up, and walk out of this hospital right now, or we're pressing charges for assault, sir." This guard has an air of authority that Amenadiel respects, even if they are at odds in this situation.

"He's my brother, and he's not well."

"Uriel," Lucifer mumbles. "Couldn't stop...again. Again."

Amenadiel grips the sides of Lucifer's face and tips his head up. His skin is paler than normal, his lips tinged with blue, and his eyes twitch erratically at the movement seeing nothing.

"Shit. He wasn't kidding. Hit the code button!" The first guard shouts.

An alarm sounds. Lucifer goes limp, Amenadiel's grip the only thing keeping him upright.

"Get him on the floor and back off so they have space to work."

Amenadiel does as he's told, stretching his brother out, and stepping back as a nurse runs toward them. Lucifer's chest only shudders now as he tries to breathe. The nurse feels his wrist and neck, then places her hands on his chest and begins compressing his chest with great force and rapidity. A hand on his arm startles Amenadiel into stillness. He hadn't realized he was drifting forward.

"What is she doing?" His voice is pitiful croak.

"It's cpr. She's keeping his blood pumping. You've never seen CPR before?" the lead guard asks.

"We had a very insular upbringing." He found this answer usually stopped humans from continuing a line of questioning.

Three more nurses arrive with a cart. One puts a mask attached to a bag over Lucifer's mouth and begins squeezing it rhythmically, the second places large sticker pads near the burns, and smaller stickers on his shoulders and hips. A messy wave appears on the machine.

"What happened?" Amenadiel pries his eyes from his brother to look at the woman in front of him

"He was out of breath. I helped him sit down, and he collapsed."

"Who used a defibrillator on him? How did he get out from under a doctor's care?"

"We've got V-fib. Clear." Comes from one of the women near Lucifer.

A twitch of Lucifer's limbs is Amenadiel's only indication that anything has happened, but the machine shows a steady rhythm of lines now. He grins. Lucifer will be back on his feet in a moment or two and they can go deal with Mum together.

Except.

The medical dance in front of him doesn't stop. The man squeezing the bag keeps doing it. It is the only rise and fall of Lucifer's chest. The one who had been doing the chest compressions cuts away Lucifer's shirt, breathing heavily, but focused. The one with the sticky patches slides a blood pressure cuff over one of Lucifer's arms and presses a needle into his other arm. Amenadiel grimaces at the sight of the mortal-made needle piercing angelic flesh.

The first nurse heaves herself to her feet and jogs off, out of sight. The one who questioned Amenadiel is on the phone exchanging rapid jargon with someone as she pulls syringes from a drawer and injects them into Lucifer's arm. A rattling draws Amenadiel's gaze away from the macabre scene in front of him. The first nurse pushes a gurney toward them. She collapses it, so the bed is near the floor. They work together to roll Lucifer onto his side, give a cursory look at his back, and then lift him onto the bed.

They move down the hall at a brisk pace, the man at the head of the gurney continuing to squeeze the bag to force air into Lucifer, and two others maneuvering the bed.

Amenadiel is left standing in the hallway, surrounded by security guards in front of a pile of medical castoffs and Lucifer's shredded shirt. How had victory become another battle for life?

"I'm sorry about your brother, but I'm still going to have to ask you to leave, sir. Is there any other family you can call to fill out paperwork?"

"No. There's no one else who could do that. I can't leave. I need to… I… I can't leave him alone this time. He needs to know that he wasn't abandoned again."

"I'm sorry. Really. I am, but unless you get special dispensation, we've been ordered to remove you. Follow us."

Amenadiel follows them. He would let them do their jobs then return. It seems to be the most expeditious path to his brother's side. They are standing waiting for the elevator when the woman who questioned him earlier shouts, "You! Where do you think you're going?"

"He's being escorted off the premises for the disturbance he caused."

"He knows that patient?"

"He's my brother," Amenadiel says, his voice remaining calm only through his eons of experience as a warrior of God.

"Adopted?"

"No. We were formed by the union of the same two beings."

She shakes her head, but says to the guard, "Okay. Look. We need him. At least for a few minutes." She turns to Amenadiel. "Are you going to cause more trouble?"

"I am not."

The lead guard shrugged. "Call us if you need us, but buddy, next issue we have, we're calling the cops, sick brother or no. Got me?"

Amenadiel places his hand on the man's shoulder and looks him in the eye. "You have my word."

"Good. That's settled. Follow me." The woman sets out at a brisk clip, and Amenadiel hurries to catch her. "His name? Age?"

"Lucifer Morningstar. Thirty-seven." Amenadiel isn't sure what age Lucifer's papers say, but that is surely near enough.

"What medications does he take?" She presses the elevator button.

"None."

"Drugs? Alcohol?"

"Yes."

The doors slide open and they step inside. She presses a button. "Has he taken any in the last twenty-four hours, and if so, what?"

"Definitely. He drinks constantly, as far as drugs he prefers cocaine and marijuana, and has most likely used both. He likes many mind-altering substances. As long as it doesn't need to be injected, he's taken it at some point."

"Why no injections?"

"He's afraid of needles. Real phobia." The elevator stops and Amenadiel follows the woman to a desk. He hears beeping and urgent voices behind a drawn curtain. He takes a step in that direction, but stops. "Is Lucifer in there?"

"Yes. Now quickly. Does he have any medical conditions that you know of? Anything wrong with his heart? Is there any family history of heart problems?"

"No. He's perfectly healthy. Our parents and siblings are all healthy. Why is there so much beeping in there?"

"Wait right there. Do not move." She jogs over to the room and slips past the curtain.

Amenadiel stands where she left him. People rush in and out. Beeping continues and voices issue orders and responses in a medical language he doesn't speak. He leans toward the room, but his feet stay rooted to the spot.

The scene from the bar flashes before him. Amenadiel had realized that Lucifer was happy, genuinely happy for maybe the first time in all their long lives. He saw the knowledge of his actions on their Father's behalf rip his brother's heart out and crush his soul. He had given their Mother the knowledge she needed to destroy Lucifer. He helped both of their parents destroy his brother, and he regretted it to the core of his being.

He will do the right thing by his brother for once. He will be here for him, even if it's to help him back to hell one last time.

The beeping quiets and the voices become less frantic. The woman returns at last. She freezes a moment when she spots him, then trots over to him.

"Have you filled out the paperwork yet?"

"What is happening to my brother?"

"He's breathing on his own. The doctor will be out when he can be to explain things. Come with me." She motions him in the opposite direction, away from Lucifer.

"I am not leaving him."

"Of course you aren't, no one is asking you to leave. You need to fill in paperwork and go to the waiting area. That is where family needs to be."

"I want to see him."

"Right now, the best thing you can do is stay out of the doctor's way. If you're in there, you're a distraction. You don't want to endanger your brother's life do you?" She stares at him until he nods. "Good. Now, come with me to the area you'll be doing paperwork."

The paperwork is a miserable hour of answering questions he barely understands followed by more wasted time sitting in a waiting room. Amenadiel wakes hours later, having shamefully fallen into a doze. He hates that the frailty of being fallen doesn't even allow him to keep watch, but his body wouldn't let him keep his eyes open any longer.

"Family of...Lucifer Morningstar?"

The words penetrate Amenadiel's somnolence. "I am his brother."

The doctor gives the same odd, disbelieving reaction most humans do at hearing this, but shrugs it off without asking. He motions for Amenadiel to follow him to a smaller room. Inside, he says, "Mr. Morningstar, someone used a defibrillator on your brother, more than once, you wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"No, why would I?" The plan had sounded so much simpler in the penthouse. Lucifer had been so confident...

"Whoever did this, caused your brother to have a heart attack that damaged the muscle. His heart function is impaired. We've installed a device that will help pump blood through his body. He's stable for now, and we'll be able to assess the level of permanent damage in a few days."

Amenadiel recognizes most of the words the doctor says, but the way they are put together make no sense. "A heart attack? What does that mean?"

The doctor winces, taps his pen on the table, and takes a deep breath before answering. "It means that his heart stopped pumping blood effectively. Are you familiar with medical dramas on television?"

"No." It's Amenadiel's turn to wince. He's had ample opportunity to learn about and from humans, but he hadn't because they were beneath him. "We had a very insular upbringing. There was no need to be knowledgeable about modern medicine."

The doctor deflates for a moment. "Okay...You understood the last thing I told you?"

Amenadiel nods.

"The heart works to pump blood throughout the body to deliver oxygen and nutrients. Are you with me so far?" Amenadiel nods. "A defibrillator is a device used to reset a heart's rhythm. Misused, it can cause burns and damage a previously healthy heart. We believe that's what happened to your brother."

Amenadiel doesn't appreciate the patronising tone the doctor has fallen into, but he needs to gather information. "And you have installed a i_device_/i? If the defibrillator reset the rhythm why is there a need for an additional device?"

"When the heart goes without oxygen, part of the muscle dies. A heart with a lot of dead muscle can't pump strongly enough to circulate the blood. Sometimes the muscle is only...sleeping and given a few days of rest will wake up. This device is doing some of the work for his heart, allowing it to rest. In a few days, we'll be able to tell how much, if any, of the muscle is going to wake up."

"Versus being dead."

"Correct."

"How is this device 'installed'?"

"This is only temporary. It didn't even involve major heart surgery. We inserted a tube through his femoral vein—that's the large one in the upper leg—into his heart… are you following any of this? I'm sorry I know it's complicated. The point is you need to expect to see many tubes inserted into his body. Don't touch any of them."

"When can I take him home?"

"Mr. Morningstar, I don't think you understand. Your brother is very ill. He's not going home anytime soon. He may not recover at all, and there will be some level of permanent impairment."

"Okay, thank you for your time, doctor."

The doctor sighed heavily. "Is there someone you can call? A family member or a friend perhaps that had a less 'insular upbringing'?"

Amenadiel sinks back in the chair. He hadn't called Maze and Linda. Why hadn't he thought to call them? "There is someone."

"Good, good. I really must get back to my patients. Your brother has been moved to the Cardiac ICU on the fifth floor. You can talk to the nursing staff there about seeing him." The doctor stands and flees through the door before Amenadiel can say anything else.

He fishes his phone from his pocket and dials Linda's number. "Amenadiel! Is Chloe okay? Did the antidote work?"

"I don't know. I—"

Her voice is suddenly tight. "Is something wrong?"

"Lucifer—"

"Oh, no…"

"Lucifer collapsed after he got upstairs. They said he had a heart attack. He's in the 'Cardiac ICU' on the 5th floor. I need to get him away from Chloe, but they've put a _device_ in his heart."

"Amenadiel, we can't go back to the hospital. If we're recognized…"

"I don't know if we could remove tubes from his heart once he's healed."

"I'm really not that kind of doctor, Amenadiel. I'm not. I told him I'm not, and what if he dies, because I—"

"Linda, Linda! Is Maze there?"

"Did something happen to Decker?"

"No, Maze it's Lucifer."

"Shit. I told him that was a bad plan. What happened?"

Amenadiel explains everything.

"Why would you let that happen?" she shouts at him.

"I didn't know, Maze! He stopped breathing. I don't have wings to fly him away from her."

"Then what do you want, Amenadiel?"

"What do I do now?

"Is he strong enough to survive the bleeding if we rip the thing out of him?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him yet."

"Do not rip those tubes out, Amenadiel!" Linda shouts in the background.

"Until the answer is yes, wait."

She hangs up and Amenadiel is left staring at a blank phone. He is a warrior. He knows what it is to stand guard and keep patient vigilance. He can do that.

He follows the signs through the labyrinthian halls to the Cardiac ICU. He is allowed inside and finds that a nurse, who identifies herself as Cheryl, is assigned to watch over his brother.

His confusion and horror must be apparent, because she takes pity on him, explaining the wires and tubes and machines. Lucifer's eyes are half open and he sometimes moves sluggishly. Cheryl tells him Lucifer is heavily drugged, and this is expected behavior. Amenadiel sits in the chair beside the bed, winds his hand through the mass of wires, and finds a bare place on Lucifer's shoulder. He grips Lucifer's shoulder and doesn't let go. This is one of the few types of touch his brother has ever tolerated from him, and he hopes it brings some measure of comfort now.

An alarm wakes him. Cheryl has been replaced by a man, who is calmly replacing an empty IV bag. He quiets the beeping and resumes his vigil at the computer near Lucifer's head. Lucifer's eyes are closed now, so Amenadiel lets himself return to sleep, his head on the bed by Lucifer's shoulder.

An elbow smashing into his face wakes him next. He startles up to find Lucifer flailing, his eyes wide in panic. He is speaking a harsh guttural language Amenadiel doesn't know, but recognizes as Lilim, even through the muffling of the tight fitting mask strapped to Lucifer's head.

"Lucifer!" Amenadiel squeezes his shoulder, then slides his hand up to the side of Lucifer's head.

Lucifer's eyes cut over to him and the flailing stops. Amenadiel isn't sure if it stops because Lucifer has exhausted himself or because of recognition. The male nurse is poised with a syringe. "What is that?"

"It'll sedate him and calm him down."

"He's calm now. He needs to be awake to heal faster."

The man injects the contents of the syringe into a tube. "Just keep talking to him. It'll kick in soon."

"What is this?" Lucifer has the presence of mind to be speaking English, and Amenadiel hopes that'll stick. He's learned very few human languages over the years. Lucifer enjoyed choosing new ones and refusing to speak Enochian or any other form of speech Amenadiel knew, taunting him until he learned. He quickly lost practice with them when Lucifer switched again.

Amenadiel squeezes Lucifer's shoulder, and asks, "Do you remember being shocked?"

Lucifer's eyes cut back toward the nurse before he nods.

"Your heart was damaged. After you came to Chloe's room, you collapsed, stopped breathing. Your heart isn't pumping enough blood to keep you alive."

He tries to rise, but he's weak, uncoordinated, and Amendiel keeps him in place with barely any pressure. Lucifer gives up and glares at him. "Leave. Heal."

"You can't, Lucifer. They put tubes _inside_ your heart. We can't move fast enough."

"You carry me."

"I can't Lucifer."

Lucifer frowns, like he can't process what Amenadiel said to him. "Fly."

"I can't fly."

"Confusion is normal. It's best not to argue too much with them," the nurse says.

Lucifer startles, suddenly much more determined to rise. The nurse joins Amenadiel in pressing Lucifer back to the mattress. "The formula! I need to get the formula. Amenadiel, the detective!"

"You got the formula, Lucifer. Chloe will be fine."

"I got it?" Lucifer's voice slurs now.

"Yes, Luci, you got it. Rest for now."

Lucifer's eyelids droop, and his body goes lax.

After a few moments, the nurse releases Lucifer and says, "I'm Jason. I'll be keeping an eye on Mr. Morningstar today, and you are his...brother?"

"That is correct."

"You did great there at the end. Just try to stay agreeable and sound positive. Hearing a loved one's voice helps."

"I'm not sure hearing my voice will do any good. I spent a long time believing the worst about my brother, thinking him incapable of any goodness. I helped hurt him, deeply, recently, but I will not let him think himself abandoned any longer."

Jason looks at him strangely for a moment, then says, "He'll pick up on your tone more than your words at this point, but here's a warning. Now is not the time to work things out. If you disrupt the function of this ICU or agitate my patient, I will have you thrown out. My priority is your brother, not whatever problems you had in the past."

Amenadiel bows his head to the man. "You have a warrior's strength. I give you my pledge that I have no intention of causing problems. If he becomes upset by my presence, I will leave voluntarily."

"Thank you." His tone turns jovial again. "Is there anyone that can spell you for breaks?"

"No. None of our family would see him, even now, and I am unsure how he would react to their presence if they deigned to show their faces."

"I'll bring you a tray when lunch comes around. That way you can stay with him."

Amenadiel's stomach grumbles painfully at the reminder of food.

"Been a while, huh? Those trays will be around soon."

Amenadiel doesn't know what to talk about at first. Even their childhood memories when they were so innocent are tinged by sadness and betrayal, by Mom and Dad's fighting, and now by the loss of Uriel. Finally, he settles on recounting tales from the one television show he had watched, Days of Our Lives. Lucifer would most likely hate this if he were awake. Amenadiel did as Jason told him and kept his voice calm and soothing, and whenever he stopped talking Lucifer would turn his head and grope with his hand, searching for him.

Despite everything that had transpired between them, Amenadiel couldn't help feeling a swell of brotherly love in his soul. Nurses came and went, meal trays appeared, Amenadiel slept when Lucifer settled, and he talked when he got restless. He answered the same questions, what happened, why can't you take me away, did I get the formula, how is the detective again and again.

On the third day, the doctor says that Lucifer's heart has improved far beyond his expectations, and they will be trying to wean him from the device. After they remove the device the next morning, they ease off the drugs, but Lucifer remains groggy and confused.

They assure Amenadiel it's normal and eventually he falls asleep with his hand on Lucifer's shoulder as he has the last three nights. The tension wakes him. Lucifer glares at him, his eyes lit with flame.

"Unhand me, _brother_."

Amenadiel releases him instantly, leaning away and showing his raised hands.

Lucifer struggles to sit, but falls back against the bed. "What have you done to me?"

"Easy. This wasn't my doing. The thing you did to send yourself to hell had dire consequences—"

The fire extinguishes from his eyes. "The detective—is she?"

"Chloe is fine, Lucifer. You got the formula. They gave her the antidote, and she's doing well. Your heart stopped beating. It was damaged—"

"Take me away from the Detective. I'll be fine. What-what are these…?" He began tugging at the IV port.

Amenadiel grasps his hand and holds it gently. Lucifer freezes, his eyes widening before tension builds in his body.

"Release me."

Amenadiel does not. "Promise me you will leave the tubes alone, and I'll release you. Jason-the nurse-said if you pull those out, it will be very bad."

"You're on a first name basis with the nurse? I didn't know men interested you."

"You died, Lucifer! Outside Chloe's room. Your heart stopped beating. They spent hours working on you! They—"

"All right, calm yourself. I will leave the tubes in place, for now. Where are my clothes? If it's been hours, I really should be getting to the detective."

Amenadiel releases Lucifer's hand, though he keeps a close watch. Lucifer could interpret 'for now' far too literally if he chose and claim it was no longer the now when he'd said it. "It's been four days."

Lucifer jolts. "Four days. How is that possible?"

"You were drugged."

"Not the fun ones, then. I remember nothing beyond shocking myself."

"They had to implant a device in your heart to pump your blood, so your heart had time to recover."

Lucifer pats his chest, his eyes wide.

"It went in through your leg. They said you need to keep still and quiet and rest today so the wounds from removing it have time to heal."

"And I suppose you've been here all this time?"

"I have."

"You definitely smell like it," Lucifer mumbles. His eyelids droop.

"We've—I've—left you alone far much in the past. Sleep. I'll be here."

Lucifer sleeps in short bursts throughout the day. While awake he grows more irritable with each passing hour. The doctor appears and refuses to have the tubes removed until the following day. Lucifer complains about Amenadiel's odor until he agrees to shower and obtain new clothes in exchange for a promise that Lucifer would be in the bed, tubes in place, when he returned.

He calls Maze and asks her to bring clothes to the parking garage. She arrives only ten minutes later and punches him in the arm hard enough that he staggers to the side.

"That's for not calling for _four_ days!" She raises her fist to hit him again, but her face crumples. She turns away, and when she turns back a few seconds later, she has forced her features into a disinterested sneer. "How is he?"

"He's going to be okay, Maze. They said he can walk around tomorrow, which means he can sneak out and heal away from Chloe. Were you waiting around with this in your car?"

She punches his other arm. "That's for scaring Linda."

While he is still rubbing his arm, she thrusts the travel bag at him, and walks away.

"Nice to see you, too, Maze!" he calls after her.

Amenadiel follows the directions they'd given him and finds the place he can shower. Lucifer perks up when he sees the travel bag, but he grows far too quiet as the evening progresses, remains uncharacteristically quiet throughout the wait for the doctor the next morning. He only makes listless innuendos as they remove the more invasive tubes. He regains his coordination quickly with the aide of the nurses and is soon dressed and demanding to be released. They produce paperwork releasing him AMA—against medical advice—and he walks away as soon as he completes the last signature.

Amenadiel trails after him, as he makes his way to Chloe's room. He calls Linda and Maze, and he waits while Lucifer sits at her bedside. Lucifer doesn't stay long after Chloe wakes, and Amenadiel meets him at the elevators. Looking beyond the expensive clothes and make-up, Lucifer shows signs of exhaustion.

The elevator doors slide shut and Lucifer sags against the wall.

"Maze will be waiting for us in the parking garage."

"I'm not going with her, brother." The words are soft and pained.

"Where else would you go?"

He stares into the distance. "I don't know, but I have to get far from here." Amenadiel is about to protest, but Lucifer spears him with his gaze, intense and pained. "Watch over her for me, brother."

Amenadiel reaches for Lucifer, but he jerks his arm away.

"Don't."

"I don't think you should be alone right now."

Lucifer smiles in a way that reminds Amenadiel of far too many times in their past, and says, "I'm the Devil, remember? Alone is ever my plight. As it should be, right, brother?"

The elevator doors open and Lucifer strides out. How many times had he pleaded not to be sent back to hell? How many times had Amenadiel found him looking far worse than he did now, exhausted, in pain, and spurned his pleas? And Lucifer had given him that same smile every time as he walked through the gates of Hell to endure alone.

He can't let his brother walk into the world as if he is being banished to Hell again. Amenadiel opens the doors to follow, but Lucifer's speaking with Mom now. He shifts side to side, his body language contained, but Amenadiel recognizes the agitation. He tries to walk away and Mom holds him back by his elbow. Amenadiel takes a step forward. He should intervene… but Lucifer backs out of her reach. The way he stalks off… there'll be no reasoning with him.

Amenadiel turns back into the hospital. His brother is broken, and he played a prominent role in breaking him. Watching over this human is a tiny step, but he must begin somewhere.


End file.
